Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Joys of Being an Introvert

I have spent the past few weeks reading some psychology books and info online about INFJ personality types. Its completely fascinating to me. I also liked this subject in school. If you read this blog often you know that I fall into this personality type which is about 1% of the population. Learning this has really broadened my sense of self and helped me to understand so much of what I have been dealing with. For example, throwing myself into my artwork is the best thing for me.  Below are some excerpts I found interesting and wanted to share. 

Its from a site called The Introvertz Coach and the quotations are from David DeVaughn. You can read the full thing  here.

"Friendship is difficult for INFJ for several reasons, the first being that we are Introverts and live inside our heads.  Most people are Extroverts who live in the outside world of people, places and things.  Most of these Extroverts are also Sensing people, which means they can only relate to that which they can see or feel."
 "...To make matters worse, the function that we INFJ's use to Extrovert is our Feeling side.  The rest of the world can sense how we feel, but not how we understand things.  They also do not understand how we deal with our Thinking side, which is also Introverted.  One minute we are sharing praise or comforting people and the next minute we are critical.  We are usually very honest in projecting our Feelings, but this confuses and often scares Sensing types.   Holding our tongues doesn't always help because we just can't hide how we feel..."
"...However, their is one thing that I have noticed.  Because much of my world takes place inside my head (where everything is in order), in my business dealings I often demand that the outside world follow that same order.  It took me a while to understand that I was not expressing the importance of this to those that I dealt with in my business.  Remember, INFJ's do a better job expressing their Feelings than expressing what they Intuitively know or Think.  We need to be careful not to let these issues come to a boil, which I define as the point where our feelings about places, time, things, etc. overwhelms our feelings/caring about people. 
I also found there is never was anyone around to help me either.  Part of the reason for that is because it is difficult for INFJ's to accept anything from others.  We are so used to others (especially Extroverts) draining us that (because of our strong Feeling function and because we are Introverted) we could never see ourselves draining others.  People just get used to taking and not giving.  Just this weekend, I had an experience like this. Someone I had been helping for literally years with a personal problem refused to extend himself in the slightest to help me with an errand I needed run that was very important.
Unfortunately, this constant disappointment with people makes us withdraw even more.  We need to be careful that we don't take on other personality traits as a means to escape into a better world...."
"...Generally speaking, people don't hurt us because they are mean.  They hurt us because they either don't understand us or they don't understand themselves.  As INFJ's and INFP's we are blessed with a far greater ability to understand.  We should use that ability to improve our lives as well as those around us.   The easiest way to do this is to RELAX.  Don't take everything so seriously.  Save your energy for that which is truly important.  Demand a little better from everyone, and a lot less from yourself.  People will see the real you and eventually, they will be your friend."


15 Painted Cups said...

Interesting read - I may have to check this out. I've always gotten INFP in the past, so a lot of this sounds like me, especially the part at the end about not wanting to be a drain on others, and becoming disappointed in people when you can't count on them.
Good post! Thanks for sharing:)

artgirl said...

I am totally fascinated by this stuff. Its helping explain so much to me in the past few months.